Our First Christmas
by TheLadyBath
Summary: Tim is dealing with his tragic loss. Can Lily help him through it and to the true meaning of Christmas. Includes a character from my prior stories "It's Complicated" and "Line of Duty". K just in case as there is illness and death. Angst and sadness, but also love and hope in a one shot story. Please read and review


Tim knew that his father was dying. The Chemotherapy worked until it no longer did and surgery was the only option. However, his father had decided to cancel the surgery and come home to be with his family. So now Tim as on his way to Church Falls, Virginia to spend a few days, the last few days ( he thought to himself) with his father. It seemed strange to Tim that it was a Monday and he was not at this desk at NCIS headquarters, but Gibbs was very clear that he was to take the time to spend with his family and then afterward to deal with any arrangements

The weather was bitterly cold as it would be in late December and Lily sat in the car next to him observing him quietly. She had initially demurred going with him when he asked, indicating that this was time to spend with the family and that a girlfriend was neither needed nor welcomed under such circumstances. Tim had persisted and had managed to convince her to come along. He was profoundly grateful for her presence as he knew the next few days and weeks would be some of the worst of his life.

Lily watched Tim as he focused on the road ahead of him. Arguably, the weather and road conditions necessitated this focus, but she also knew that he was not ready or willing to talk to her about his father, the illness that would shortly claim his life, or the feelings that Lily knew were even now playing hell with his head and his heart. Lily sighed inwardly. Having lost her own mom several years earlier, she knew how hard it was and how much harder is was going to become. She quietly reached out to touch Tim's knee; just to let him know that she was there and offer him the comfort of human contact. She was surprised when she felt his hand lay on top of hers and squeeze gently. She looked up to note that his eyes were still on the road.

* * *

><p>Emily McGee opened the door only a few seconds after they rang the doorbell. She must have been waiting for Tim to arrive. A lovely woman in her mid fifties, with blonde hair that had no need of artificial enhancement. Emily hugged Tim and then embraced Lily as if they were life-long friends. Lily had met the McGee family a few times before, but never under such circumstances and she was surprised and touched by the open welcome.<p>

No sooner had Tim, Lily and Emily exchanged greetings then Sarah entered the corridor. She threw herself into Tim's arms. Tim smiled down at his little sister and she looked up at him with eyes full of both excitement and sadness. "Dad is home," she said. "He has been anxious for you to get here." She noticed Lily and walked over to give her a brief hug which Lily returned. Sarah and Lily had really taken to each other upon their first meeting, a situation which Tim found both pleasing and oddly disturbing.

"How is he," Lily asked quietly.

Sarah looked down. "Today is a good day. Lets go see him."

"The Admiral, as Lily (and most other people) called John McGee, was seated in front of the Christmas tree. Nothing seemed to be wrong with him at first glance. It was only after a moment of observation, that his paper-thin skin and fatigue-drawn face became apparent. Then the constantly present IV and oxygen tank intruded upon the consciousness. There was no doubt that Tim's father very ill. Lily had seen the Admiral about three weeks prior when Tim brought her to meet his parents and to celebrate Thanksgiving. He appeared to have aged since then, she noticed with a pang of sadness.

"Hi Dad," Tim walked over and prepared to shake his Dad's hand when the Admiral reached up for his son. Tim bent down and his father surprised everybody watching by embracing him. The shocked look on Tim's face spoke volumes - he could count on one hand the number of times that his father had hugged him in his entire life.

"Good afternoon, Sir," Lily said formally.

"Its just John now." The Admiral's voice was weak, but steady. "It is good to see you, Lily. Thank you for coming to spend some time with us."

"Thank you for having me, Sir. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to be of help."

"Just be with us," John said quietly.

* * *

><p>And so the time passed as Tim and the family spent the last few precious days with John McGee. Monday was a good day; John smiled and laughed as the family gathered around the Christmas tree. Lily even managed to take a few pictures of what looked like a normal family celebrating Christmas. She did not know what she would do with the pictures, but thought that it would be something that Tim may ultimately want.<p>

Tuesday was harder and John went to be after lunch. He did not leave his bed on Wednesday, and by Thursday it was obvious that he was fading fast. The family was gathered together in John's bedroom to say their good byes while Lily waited in the Living Room and attempted to keep busy with the myriad of coffee table books.

When the books failed to keep her attention, she started looking around at the photographs that Emily displayed everywhere. She looked at the pictures not only as Tim's girlfriend, but also as a trained profiler. What she saw spoke volumes. John McGee may have been distant and authoritarian. He may have had trouble relating to his brilliant, but sensitive son, but looking at the pictures, Lily had no doubt that he loved his family very much.

Lily did not know how she knew, but the moment that John McGee passed seemed obvious to her. It seemed as if everything stopped and that the house and everything in it was holding its breath and then slowly releasing it as John's life ebbed away. Instinctively, Lily turned her head to look at the door of the bedroom where the family was gathered. A moment later, Tim walked out supporting his mother who was crying inconsolably. Worriedly, Lily looked at Tim's face - how was he taking this? Tim's face was pale and drawn and his lips were in a tight, thin line, but his eyes were dry. McGee men did not cry. Lily caught his eye and tried to send him all her love and support. Tim just nodded briefly indicated with a nod of his head in the direction of the room that Lily should go be with Sarah.

Lily immediately went into the room to find Sarah sitting on the arm chair crying. Lily walked up and put her arm on Sarah's shoulder. "I am so sorry, Sarah. Losing a parent is very hard. If there is anything that I can do...," Lily gently helped Sarah stand up and helped her out of the room so that the mortuary would be able to come in and collect the body.

The next few hours were spent taking care of details like signing papers and arranging the funeral. Given John's stature, the date was only a few short days away on the following Saturday. Finally, the family and Lily were able to gather again in the Dining Room. Lily had fixed a light supper of soup and sandwiches although nobody was particularly hungry and everybody just picked at their food.

After the desultory supper, Lily cleaned up and went to the room she was sharing with Tim. She found Tim sitting on the edge of the bad with his back to the door. It did not seem that he heard her come in. Lily walked over to him, sat on the bed next to him so that their knees were touching, and took his hand in hers. They just sat there quietly with Lily offering her presence and her love as solace. Eventually, She realized that something was dripping on her hand and realized that Tim was crying. Lily wrapped her arms around Tim and held him tightly while he sobbed into her shoulder.

Eventually, there were no more tears and Tim looked up. "My father would be disappointed in me. McGee men don't cry."

Lily forced Tim to look at her. "Don't say that," Lily commanded. "Its not true. Your father loved you very much and was proud of you." Tim looked at her dubiously. "Don't give me that look. I study people, their behavior and their motivations for a living. I can tell a lot from a look, a hand gesture, or how the body is positioned. I looked at photographs of you and your dad and I saw you two together. John McGee may have had trouble expressing how he felt, but have no doubt," her brown eyes burned with intensity, willing Tim to believe, "he loved you." Tim looked at Lily and smiled sadly.

"Too bad I did not know you when I was growing up. Just hearing that would have made everything so much easier." Lily just hugged him. There was nothing else she could do.

After a few more moments, she pulled away and smiled gently up at Tim. "I have an idea. Hot chocolate. The sugar and the endorphins in the chocolate will help make you feel better." Tim smiled. Nobody had made him hot chocolate for years. "Go take a shower, I'll be back up in a few minutes," Lily said, gently kissing Tim on the lips as he headed off to the bathroom. When she returned ten minutes later with the steaming cup, Tim was fast asleep. She set the cups down, gently touched Tim's cheek, and putting on her pajamas, climbed into bed, wrapping her arms around Tim.

* * *

><p>The day of the funeral proved to be both hectic and difficult. Again, Lily proposed to travel with the guests and not in the Limousine with the family and again, Tim insisted that she go with them. This time Sarah joined in too. The family and Lily arrived to the church early and while Lily sat in the Pew, the family said their good byes individually. When it was Tim's turn, he did not ask her to go with him, just squeezed her hand and headed for the side door to the room where the Admiral rested in his coffin. As he was about to open the door, Lily saw him remove a sheet of paper from the breast pocket of his coat jacket. He came out about twenty minutes later with eyes red from crying. He embraced Lily quickly, looking for the comfort of human touch and they both sat down for the Mass.<p>

After the Funeral Mass, the Limousine followed the cortege Arlington National Cemetery where he would be laid to rest with full honors. Tim and Lily sat hand in hand. Tim was staring hard at the casket and Lily knew he was trying to hold himself together for Emily and Sarah. She held his hand tightly offering what strength she could. When the officer handed the folded flag to his mother, she felt Tim start to shake and knew he was crying; she kept her eyes straight ahead to permit him time to gather himself.

Tim lingered after everybody had said their goodbyes and the casket was lowered into the ground. He took of his sunglasses and Lily looked up at him. He was pale and exhausted, but there was something in his eyes that showed that the healing had started. She reached up to touch his cheek and he held her hand to his face. They stood that way for a moment, just looking at each other, and then as if the thought came to both of them simultaneously, turned to go to the Limousine which would take them to the reception.

That evening both Tim and Lily fell into bed, exhausted. They were drained emotionally, but also, tired from the talking and the mingling and the shaking of hands that seemed to go on interminably at the reception. It was comforting to know how many people cared for the Admiral and for Emily and that she had a support structure even when Sarah returned to school and Tim returned to work. They would spend the next day with Sarah and Emily and then head back to Washington DC. Both of them were given time until after Christmas and Lily knew that Tim needed the time to grapple with his loss and rest from the last few days' turmoil.

Lily got into bed and again wrapped her arms around Tim. This time, he turned over and took her in his arms instead. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear. "I don't think I'd have made it through without you." He gently kissed her, but somehow that gentle kiss became deeper and more insistent. As exhausted as she was, Lily responded. They both needed the human connection and the reaffirmation of life this contact brought to them. They made slow gentle love and fell asleep in each others arms. The date was December 20th.

* * *

><p>Tim and Lily returned to Washington on December 22nd. They just went to Lily's apartment. Neither one had the spirits for major celebration, but they did put up a small tree. Tim and Lily spent a quiet Christmas Eve together at her apartment with an intimate dinner and a "Christmas Carol" marathon on television. Neither felt up to the festivities at the office and their friends understood. Ellie and Jake headed off to a tropical vacation, Ducky, Abby and the Palmers celebrated together and Gibbs did whatever he did. Tony's presents sat in the hallway and Lily had already given Tony a new set of skis. for his Christmas trip with the most current snow bunny that kept the revolving door going since Ziva left. She would see him when he returned and they would have to have a talk about the alley catting, but now she focused on helping Tim.<p>

Christmas Day dawned cold and grey with a promise of snow later in the day. Tim and Lily would be spending the afternoon and evening with Sarah and Emily and the car was already packed with gifts, but the morning was theirs. They went to the Sunrise Christmas Mass at the National Cathedral and now were sitting, with coffee mugs in hand, in front of the tree looking at the few brightly wrapped packages beneath it.

"I am sorry, Lily," Tim said. "This is not how I wanted our first Christmas to be."

Lily lightly kissed him. "Given the year that we had," she said, referring to all that had happened to them, "I am just happy to be here today with you." But Tim was not entirely empty handed. Before they left to head back to DC, his mother pulled him into her bedroom and handed him a small red box. Inside was a pendant, a gift his dad gave her when they were first married. It was an old fashioned piece. A white gold bouquet of roses with green-enameled leaves and stems and different colored gemstones for each flower. "Mom. Do you really want to give this to me. I know that Dad...,"

Emily silenced Tim with a quick hug. "You dad specifically wanted you to have it to give to Lily. She's a special young lady. You are very lucky to have found each other." Tim responded by hugging his mother. "Thank you," he whispered.

Now he handed the box to Lily, who exclaimed at the beautiful piece and the wonderful story and then had Tim put it on her. The other present was a floppy package roughly 8 1/2 inches by 11 inches. Lily unwrapped it and gasped. It was a copy of Tim's new manuscript. He had never shared a manuscript before with anybody but his editor. This book introduced a new character - Lindsay Thomas, who was Agent Tommy's love interest. Tim was hoping that Agent Tommy would be better in explaining his feelings than he was as plain old Tim.

It was now Lily's turn. There was the requisite "CIA" Sweatshirt and the new video game that Tim had wanted. Then there was one more small rectangular package. Lily hesitated for a moment before giving it to Tim. "I really hope you like this," she said.

Tim tore the wrappings and gasped. "My God, Lily. How? What made you do this."

Lily cringed. Tim did not like it. "I am sorry. I had hoped...,"

"Sorry," Tim cried. "This is amazing." He looked up from the photograph with eyes bright with unshed tears.

The photo was one that he vaguely recalled from Monday when they had first arrived. His Dad, still feeling strong, was sitting in his chair by the Christmas tree. The photo showed him leaning over the back of the chair saying something to his father and smiling. Sarah was sitting on the arm of the chair with her dad's hand on her knee and him mom was standing on the other side with her arm on his father's shoulder and she too was smiling. It looked like a posed photograph, but Lily had just managed to capture a spontaneous moment. But this photo was so much more. "How did you...?"

Lily smiled with relief. "A friend at Langley is a genius at Photoshop. I got the idea when I saw the Christmas pictures your mom had set out and when I was going through the photo's on my phone, I saw this one. We added the fire in the fireplace and the lights on the Christmas tree. I thought it right that you had a Christmas picture with your whole family this year. This is how you should remember your father.

"But dad looks different too. My God. You've removed all the tubes and the oxygen. You changed his bath robe into a sweater and pants. He looks like he looked every year. This is the best gift I could have gotten this year. You have given me one more Christmas with my dad."

Lily wrapped her arms around Tim's neck. "Merry Christmas, Tim," she said.

"Merry Christmas, Love," Tim responded.

Their lips met for a Christmas kiss.

**Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoyed this story. Lily is in my two earlier stories "It's Complicated" and "Line of Duty". I also plan to write more about Lily and her interactions with the NCIS team. I love comments, reviews, and any ideas you may have, I will try to incorporate into future stories. Please read and review. Thank you**


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